Stick to data crunching and Russia, Russia, Russia WaPo.

By Andrew J. Pridgen

They bought it.

In an ongoing effort to cast its new mega private equity firm venture as benevolent purveyors of year-round skiing, word contortionist and truth-bender, KSL Capital Partners’ head Aw Shucks Man Andy Wirth, jumped on local radio Saturday to give both Roger Daltrey and the prospect of endless winter a shout out.

And the Washington Post took the bait.

The WaPo reported an excerpt from the interview: “Gosh darn it, it’s been an incredible winter, an unprecedented winter, an incredible winter,” Wirth told Truckee-based DJ JD Hoss on 101.5 Saturday morning. “All the different words you can use preceded a lot of times by expletives. It’s just amazing.”

Wirth went on to claim ’16-’17 is the “snowiest winter on record.”

Wirth is correct on one front. His parent company KSL was blessed by robust weather to distract from a half-decade of PR gaffes along with ill-fated expansion plans, hours-long traffic jams, and kicking out for good local skiers who have the gumption to complain about the reduction of on-mountain services.

Ryan Maue, a meteorologist for WeatherBell Analytics, calculated that the state of California has received the equivalent of 90-trillion gallons of water since October, the greatest volume on record. In a tweet last Wednesday, the Western Regional Climate Center documented more than a dozen individual locations, mostly in the Northern Sierra, having their wettest water years — with emojis:

Capitalizing on the freakish bounty from a planet in revolt, Wirth comes in with the money shot: “I’m actually considering staying open through the summer and fall so it becomes the 16-17-18 season,” he said. “We’re taking a hard look at that. Maybe we spin Shirley [a back-side chairlift] through the summer. There’s so much snow up there.”

This is the equivalent of the older kid on your block, the one always wearing the jean jacket vest with the Iron Maiden, AC/DC and Queensrÿche patches who’s always standing around his car in the driveway that’s never running promising he’s going to bring you back a concert tee. It could happen, sure — but don’t count on it.

It’s just something someone says. And Wirth says lots of things. Fortunately, we’ve got science to say what’s really happening (hint: it’s not gonna happen).

Andrew J. Pridgen is the author of the novellaBurgundy Upholstery Sky”. His first full-length novel will be released in late-2017.

Photo: First Tracks