The GOP is no longer a political party but a rogue faction of operatives who are using an old brand to dismantle the country they pretend to serve and support.

That is all.

By Andrew J. Pridgen

Proof comes at us, daily, from all angles, that the GOP has morphed into some evil kind of used car dealer.

You: Do you have a Ford? Maybe an Explorer, like a 2013 or newer?

Evil GOP used car dealer: I think I have one in back (runs in the back …reappears with a box of swords from China.)

You: That’s not a Ford. That’s a box of swords from China.

Evil GOP used car dealer: Nope. I think you’re wrong there. It’s a Ford (points to the box) see? Made in America.

You: It says ‘China’. Also, that’s not even a car.

Evil GOP used car dealer: What? What’d you say? Are you saying this American car is not a CAR!!!! You snowflake!!! Grow a pair. #MAGA.

You: (In a calming voice) OK, let’s just take a breath and start over here. Maybe I wasn’t clear. What I’m saying is I wanted to see a car. You brought out a box of swords and called it a car. Then you got mad when I pointed out that it is a box of swords. Look, I love America too. I want what’s best…for all of us. But clearly, I cannot drive away in this.

Evil GOP used car dealer: Fuck off then. This is America (dumps box of swords out). If you don’t like it…get the fuck out!!!!

Yes, this is how it feels every. Single. Fucking. Day. A constant barrage of crazy so crazy that old crazy now seems normal.

Collusion, cover-up, self-dealing, using the highest office in the land strictly for familial financial gain, more cover-up and distracting with everything awful enough to surreptitiously dismantle government agencies, the state department and the justice department in order to shove through a corrupt corporate state takeover aided by a foreign adversary.

We are so tired of the barrage, so desensitized by the daily exposure of backroom dealings, the egregious gaffes and the nonsensical nature of their strategy (or lack thereof) deployed to dismantle, that most of us have resorted to going to our happy place of staring at memes of lawnmowers taking flight to the sounds of Mariah Carey’s unreachable high notes scale in Emotions.

^ I dare you to watch that fewer than a dozen times while you try to mix up the cold parts of your Trader Joe’s Diner Mac ‘n Cheese at your desk during your lunch today.

Wednesday, Trump budget director Mick “The Humanities Hatchet” Mulvaney went full Gestapo on Big Bird while trying to defend a budget that would cut ALL THE funding for PBS.

“Big Bird makes more money than everybody in this room,” during testimony before the House Budget Committee.

  1. That’s not fucking true. Last time I checked Big Bird wasn’t getting kickbacks from big pharma, big oil, big munitions and the fucking Koch Brothers.
  2. Fuck you.

Then he did the double-down jig naming a fictitious family in a place he’s never been — nor ever intends to go — as, you know, his best working example of why being so evil feels works for made-up America: “When I do go to that family in Grand Rapids and say, ‘Is this what you want your money to go to?’ I think they might tell me no. Maybe they can afford to do it without us.”

FUCK. THAT. SHIT.

For starters the budget would rescind all of the 2019 funding for the Corporation for Public Broadcasting ($445 million) and all but $30.45 million for 2018 (<–that amount would be designated for shutting down operations. How generous.)

So you know, that accounts for less than .01 percent of the budget.

Then throw in the $148 million the National Endowment for the Arts gets annually and another $148 million for National Endowment for the Humanities — yep that’s ALL humanities programs (aka, what makes life worth living) gone …to save a little less than .02 percent of the budget.

Yes, it’s like chopping off the entire right side of your body to fix a hangnail

In addition to taking away funding for the bi-partisan stuff that is literally the only thing that defines us as a society, the budget strives to make us sick, hungry, poor and stupid as well. Trump’s budget cuts also include more than $600 billion to Medicaid, $193 billion to food stamps, $143 billion to student loans and $63 billion to federal worker retirement — over the next decade.

Not sure what the Grand Rapids family will say about that as they cower in their dark home over the flame of a Molotov cocktail as they wait for a police state to come banging down their door to capture them as dissenters.

Of course, these cuts in humanities and social services are going towards paying for tax breaks for the ultra-rich.

Under the new budget, pass-through income (income of an entity, like a company, that is treated as the income of the investors or owners) would be taxed at no more than 15 percent — it is currently taxed at 39.6 percent.

Since Trump’s own businesses would benefit “greatly” (<– his word) from this, it makes sense that it be coined the “Trump loophole”. The problem is this loophole will create a loss of $5 trillion in revenue over a decade. So, off with the head of all the stuff for the 99.9 percent of the rest of us just so millionaires’ taxes can be slashed by at least $250,000 each year on average.

“PBS and our nearly 350 member stations, along with our viewers, continue to remind Congress of our strong support among Republican and Democratic voters, in rural and urban areas across every region of the country,” PBS president and CEO Paula Kerger said in a statement Wednesday. “We have always had support from both parties in Congress, and will again make clear what the public receives in return for federal funding for public broadcasting. The cost of public broadcasting is small, only $1.35 per citizen per year, and the benefits are tangible: increasing school readiness for kids 2-8, support for teachers and homeschoolers, lifelong learning, public safety communications and civil discourse.”

And if that doesn’t convince you. Here’s Fred Rogers talking about PBS to the Senate. Look. Left or right, conservative or liberal — all on the panel agree educating our children and fostering their healthy minds is paramount to a stable society.

If this doesn’t make you tear up from memory of a kinder, more empathetic, more educated, nobler America — nothing will:

Oh, p.s. We also need a $1.6 billion chunk to build a wall on the border with Mexico—a wall that isn’t going to keep anyone out. But it’s got to be a wall so big that not even Big Bird will be able to make it back over! #greatagain.

Andrew J. Pridgen helps run sister site Death of the Press Box and is the author of the novella “Burgundy Upholstery Sky”. His first full-length novel will be released in late-2017.