Paris Climate Deal obliterated, now we should just be really really fucking excited to fully embrace this new role in the world as a developing nation with a bend toward radicalism and fascism governed by the denial of basic facts. I pledge enrichment to the supreme leader and his family…

By Andrew J. Pridgen

Welcome to a dictatorship. Welcome to a country that is determined to usher in the Earth’s destruction, fast. Welcome to being an axis power. Welcome to the end of a 240-year experiment on patience, tolerance, equality and being generally helpful whenever we could. Welcome to the squandering of the rest of the world’s goodwill towards us in one breezy June morning.

We had the largest stack at the table after World War II and now it’s fucking gone.

Bankrupt. Devoid of ideas, charisma, charm and empathy. —Welcome to America.

Donald J. Trump opted to opt out of the Paris climate agreement Thursday. He can feel his mortality creeping so he’s doing his best to make sure the world dies before he does, period.

Even if we tell the rest of the world, “It’s not us, it’s him” the facts are the facts: We installed him. We didn’t use the mechanisms our founding fathers built in against demagoguery to expel him. And now he speaks for 320 million kind and cowering souls

It’s now us, Syria and Nicaragua vs. the rest of the world.

Actually, fuck it, it’s just us.

Even North Korea is in on the agreement. Yes, we’re officially more batshit crazy and hellbent for leather than North Fucking Korea.

Donald Trump stood brazenly in the soon-to-be-underwater White House Rose Garden and did what he’s done his whole life, pulled out without having any idea of what he was pulling out of.

With zero sense of what he was doing, or irony, he yaked up, “So we’re getting out, and we will see if we can negotiate a deal that’s fair. And if we can, that’s great. And if we can’t, that’s fine.”

No. It’s not great. No it’s not fine.

Yes, you suck at negotiating.

By association we are a country of violence, of white supremacists, of ineptitude and stammering, fact-shunning, drunken dick-in-the-face ignorance. That’s how the world sees us and if you look around at the folks who support this man, that’s who we are.

…And let me be clear Trump supporter: You won’t see the fuck-you-all-you-fuckers decision you’ve made manifest overnight, but I guarantee in five years (or sooner) you will see a defiled and diseased country grow sicker, more angry and more at odds not only with the rest of the world but with one another. We have set a course to be a kleptocracy controlled only by a few would-be felons and all you have is a fucking red hat made in China and a few hashtags to show for it. To be clear and to a person, I guarantee one thing: Your grandparents would be fucking ashamed.

Most of the rest of the world seems to understand that nations and their economies no longer thrive when our species no longer exists.

The Paris treaty was hard-fought and codified by literally all nations working together to pledge to help mitigate the effects of climate change. No solution is a panacea and nothing happens overnight but with nations working together, setting benchmarks, meeting those and moving forward in order to help curb very real, very eminent migration of 100 million+ refugees from countries like Latin America, Southeast Asia, sub-Saharan Africa to places that frankly aren’t underwater in 50 years is crucial.

Trump also just yanked the US’s seat from the table for any meaningful input on the global economy so if you’re looking at this from a purely selfish/self-preservation dollars-and-cents angle as an American, you would be plenty pissed and embarrassed.

And if you think this is a fitting fuck you to Obama’s environmental policies like the Clean Power Plan, well, the Paris agreement has nothing to do with any of the rules and regulations Scott Pruitt and the EPA are so zealously unwinding now.

So that rational doesn’t work either.

What Trump did today was brazen, wild, feckless, ill-conceived and disastrous.

What else do you expect from a man who represents a party that has no ideas of its own and nothing left to give but to troll the opposition in the name of self-dealing?

This time, the jokes on them …because there’s nothing to gloat about and nobody to gloat to once all of us are dead.

Andrew J. Pridgen helps run sister site Death of the Press Box and is the author of the novella “Burgundy Upholstery Sky”. His first full-length novel will be released in late-2017.